Hello guys, I’m hoping you had a marvelous long weekend. I know I sure did. I ate WAY too much, found some great things shopping on Black Friday, and spent lots of time with family and friends. I am feeling rather rejuvenated and just in time for our very anticipated trip to Disney World.
On a more somber note, I don’t know if you have noticed or not, but I haven’t been posting much on the blog, or instagram for that matter. I contemplated a long time internally about whether or, not I was going to let you in on what my heart is so heavy and my mind is so full of. After talking to one of my best friends, she encouraged me to do this so I am. Like I mentioned before, this blog is a creative outlet for me, a way to help and inspire others, but most times this is really like a very public diary.
Something about putting words to paper, or should I say post, really helps the heart. For the last week and a half, I have been silently holding my breath. You see, my dad has been struggling with knee pain and after further testing, it is clear that he has a massive knee/bone tumor that the doctors are most certain is cancer. They just don’t know what kind yet. So, as my family and I try our best to just keep living day to day, its the only thing anyone can think about. I know fear of the unknown is the greatest fear there is so until we know what we are fighting against, we can’t feel that optimistic even though we really want to.
The only reason I am sharing these personal details is to hopefully be a reminder to always tell the ones you love that you love them. Always live each day like your last. Never take anyone, or anything for granted. I know I being totally cliche…Always do what makes you happy. Never do something because you feel obligated to. Always appreciate the little things in life and be thankful for all you have. Never stop dreaming, hoping, working, or trying. Never lose hope, or faith.
My dad is the rock of our family, the person we all turn to in times of trouble. The mere idea of anything jeopardizing that is absolutely our worst nightmare. It’s been extremely hard to have faith and trust that this is in God’s hands because its human nature to feel helpless, discouraged, and alone. I have also been feeling so superficial in even writing this blog. How can I get dressed up and take photos and smile while my dad’s future is in limbo? How can I tell you about what trends I love for winter, or what nail polish I am wearing?!
Life is so freaking hard, and scary, and things happen that we don’t understand and hurt us so much. But no matter what we have to keep going, keep hoping, keep praying. I know that no matter what things do happen for a reason and God has a plan for everyone. I hope that this post doesn’t offend you, if anything please know that you are never alone, and that you don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. LET IT GO. That is most certainly what I am trying my best to do.
I didn’t write this for you to say, “OH IM SO SORRY”, or for attention. Don’t be sorry, its not your fault. This was just my rant for the day. I also didn’t write this for pity, so please don’t see this as attention starving, or to make my mom cry. So mom, stop crying. We will get through this crazy thing called life, we all will. My personal stories are personal, but I share them to hopefully bring inspiration to anyone who reads them.
If you are still reading this, then thank you. I love you for it.
until next time,
stay cute, stay sweet.