Hello everyone, I hope you had a great Christmas. Our’s was really nice aside from the hot and muggy weather out. I am totally in a funk right now, so I hope you can forgive me. But I actually HATE this month and time of year. I set myself up for failure every time by saying I am going to do this and that and turn over a new leaf. So here we are on January 5 and SURPRISE, nothing I said I would do has even remotely started.
The older I get the more I find myself turning into a procrastinator and I am not sure why. I am trying to get back on track by being active, I am no workout guru nor do I even enjoy it in the slightest, but I force myself to do at least one activity a day no matter what, to just get my heart rate pumping.
This is probably my most pathetic post thus far, but I need my corner of the internet to rant please just for five seconds. So aside from my new year, new self being a total bust…my parents went back to MD Anderson for a checkup and to see how the cancer responded to chemo.
So, the doctor can’t even tell us if the chemo worked, they can’t tell if the cancer just STOPPED growing, or if it’s even dead. That was a total punch to the gut, but trying to take a positive stance on this by thinking that just because they don’t know if the chemo killed the cancer, the lesions have not spread anymore, or gotten larger so therefore it did something right.
My dad faces another 6 rounds of chemo soon and the type required has scary side effects like mental side effects. It makes your mind not quite right, can even cause severe depression. We are going into year two of this up and down roller coaster of a journey but quite frankly, we are all just a little tired of it. You don’t realize how fortunate your mundane routine of a life is until its changed in the biggest way.
I know I have to stay positive and remember that things can ALWAYS be worst, but sometimes thats just not how I feel or it’s not what I want to hear either. So, moral of my story here is never take anything for granted, remember that others have it worst than yourself, always try to stay positive, and maybe DON’T make a new year resolution.
Ok, ok, maybe that last point is my personal preference. But if you are still reading this, thanks for listening to me while I have this pity party. Writing posts like these are just therapeutic for me, but if by chance this touches your heart then I am happy.
May your new year go perfectly.
until next time,
stay cute, stay sweet.